As a child I was never a very picky eater, but there were certain things that I just couldn’t stomach, including brussels sprouts. I would do anything to avoid them. When I tried to leave them or a similarly disliked food untouched, I would be told to eat everything on my plate because there were poor, starving children in Africa with no food at all who would be very happy to have brussels sprouts.
I couldn’t really figure out how my eating the food they were missing out on, or even pretending to enjoy it, helped the kids in Africa so finally one day I asked, with complete sincerity, why we didn’t just send the brussels sprouts to Africa. My mom looked at me thoughtfully, and said, “You know, that’s a good point.” I never had to eat brussels sprouts again and boy was I grateful.
Of course my mom had a point too. She was trying to teach me the importance of being appreciative, a necessary attribute for truly recognizing and enjoying the goodness in our lives. It also allows us to value and support the best efforts of those who contribute to our daily wellbeing.
Forcing me to eat food I truly found to be foul, however, wasn’t going to teach me these qualities. Acknowledging that I had choices beyond brussels sprouts helped me become more appreciative. Knowing we are fortunate, or even fortunate enough, is key to knowing how to be happy.
Many cultures, including the one my mother grew up in, fostered an understanding of gratitude as a kind of talisman woven of fear and superstition. Because life could always be worse, being grateful for what one had could possibly advert that unknown “worse” from happening. And if one “suffered gladly,” they may even be more respected by a higher power.
There certainly is truth to the notion that things could always be worse. Life is filled with a flow of ups and downs, joy and suffering, ying and yang. However, gratitude is really more about “living gladly,” than enduring pain with a smile. True gratitude is a powerful way to not only successfully mine the opportunities within any given situation, be it deemed good or bad at the time, it’s also a powerful means for creating more ups than downs in our daily lives. Gratitude empowers us to be co-creators of our lives.
For many of us, our memories of things long past or of the day we just finished, are dominated by more negative thoughts than positive ones, especially in contentious and trying times. “Practicing gratitude,” means interrupting this flow of negative thoughts to allow room for positive events to be recognized and given their due. Going to bed thinking of all the good things that happened that day is a better habit that not only brings peace of mind, but also better sleep and thus better health, not to mention a better next day. Successfully shifting our focus upon positives also alters one’s perspective enough to give more credence to the possibilities that exist in situations or events that were habitually perceived as negatives.
By choosing to allow joy to be a prominent and powerful presence in our conscious and unconscious thoughts, we are not eradicating hardships or glossing over pain. Instead, gratitude helps us create and invest more energy in positive realities, which goes forward to create and foster more positive realities and thus more joyful lives. We also have then more “capable energy” and hope when hardships do occur.
By focusing on what we love and enjoy, and recognizing its worth through gratitude, we bring a healthy peace and wellbeing to our bodies and souls, and to those around us with whom we share our appreciation.
Learning to rethink how we see our situations can take practice. Here’s an exercise that can be helpful and fun.
Ask yourself how many red cars drove past your house today? Inevitably, you’ll say you don’t have any idea. You can’t know because you weren’t looking for red cars. Gratitude is like keeping an eye out for red cars, or whatever positive happy moments and occurrences are your own “red cars,” and giving them not just a nod of recognition, but also allowing the good feelings they create to sink in and stay with you. The definition of your “red cars” could also begin to grow. You may empower yourself to decide that maroon cars contain lot more red than you had noticed before, and silver cars are certainly red when something red reflects and shines off of them.
Basic physics prove that what has more energy invested in it simply has more energy, and thus more power. Practical logic and experience tells us the same. Gratitude is a means of celebrating the good in our lives, and thus imbuing it with the energy to flourish, and for us to flourish with it.
Philosopher and author, Dr. Jean Houston has written, “At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of possibilities.” Gratitude is one type of this laughter. Be it broad and obvious or a reverent, inner observation, the universe hears it and responds.
Have a Wonderful Thanksgiving!
Michele Russell
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